How To Get Fired At Your Office Christmas Party

Recently a few friends were talking about their upcoming holiday parties.  I chuckled because now my holiday party is just my husband and I.  Every year, we celebrate at a fancy restaurant while the kids are at church group.

Before I went freelance, I ran a law office in the municipal sector for years.  It was definitely an interesting job and holiday parties were occasions to remember.  When you coordinate these events with attorneys, mayors, chiefs of police, superintendents of schools and other government officials - believe me, things get wild!

With memories of past holiday parties in mind, I decided to compile a brief list of "How To Get Fired At Your Office Christmas Party (For A Better New Year)" (many might be based on actual events):

1.  Make photocopies of your butt and distribute them throughout the building.  This is even more effective if you use two or more rear ends.  We know how porn makes you popular.  Think Paris Hilton and Kim Kardashian.

2.  Make sure to bring half the buffet home in the oversize tote bag you brought along.  Leaving a trail of crumbs behind is a telltale sign of your success.  Maybe you can hit the bathroom for a couple of rolls of toilet tissue.  If the supply cabinet is open, you hit the jackpot.  Take everything you can - it's Christmas, isn't it, the time for giving and receiving?

3.  Drink, drink and drink some more.  After all, if it's free it's for me, right?  Get completely crap-faced so all your words are slurred.  When people get closer to try to understand you, shower them with saliva while you shout in their ear.

4.  Use drinking as an excuse to tell stuff you shouldn't.  Tell the competition all the company's proprietary secrets so the company realizes your actual worth.  Let your boss know the guy in the next cubicle steals office supplies.  Spread the news and share the joy for the holidays.

5.  Flirt outrageously.  Sit on your boss' lap.  Proposition the CEO.  Best of all, hit on the boss' wife.  She will appreciate the attention and he gets tired of her nagging anyway.  Dance with her and whisper sweet nothings in her ear so everyone sees your skill with the ladies.

6.  Dance on tables.  Sing loudly off-key.  Make sure everyone knows who you are.  After all, you do want recognition in the office, don't you?  How can you get ahead if nobody knows who you are?

7.  Circulate a petition about the company.  Demand higher wages and more generous bonuses.  Tell your boss the holiday party is a freakin' write off for the company and you'd rather see the money in your pocket.  Let the boss know you can't be duped just because it's the holiday season!  You know an Ebenezar Scrooge when you see one.

8.  Wrap an empty box for the company grab bag.  Chuckle when the menacing mail room guy gets it.  Take an extra gift when it's your turn and refuse to put it back.  Get everything you can and give nothing because the company owes it to you.

9.  Bring a date who isn't afraid to speak up about corporate injustice and the tyranny of traditional employment.  Make sure your date has plenty to drink.  Whisper suggestions in your date's ear to encourage additional commentary.  When your boss and co-workers get offended, make the excuse you didn't know your date had such a problem holding their liqour.

10. Don't attend the holiday party at all.  Talk trash about your boss and the office everywhere you can.  Create a blog dedicated to the latest "news" about your company.  Prove your independence and ability to think on your own.

11.  Attend the party with a hidden digital camera.  Take pictures of your boss necking with the receptionist in the coat room.  Distribute said photos all over every social and business network on the Internet.  After all, didn't Britney Spears prove bad publicity is better than no publicity at all?

BONUS TIP: Bring your own copy of "You Can Take This Job and Shove It".  Rather than coordinating Christmas carols (how boring and predictable is that?), get everyone to sing about shoving their jobs in unison.  There's nothing like unity during the holiday season.

If you get fired, remember the company just can't handle someone like you with knowledge, communication skills and independent thinking.

P.S.  In case you forget the lyrics, I'm including a YouTube video of "You Can Take This Job and Shove It" from Johnny Paycheck.  Now you're ready for the party!

© 2008-2009 - All Rights Reserved Stacey Mamasaid D.

The Yoplait Kids Contest Winners Announced!

Today we are announcing the winners of the Yoplait Kids Contest, compliments of Venusity and My Blog Spark.  I buy Yoplait kids yogurt because it is healthy, tasty and my children love it!  I even enjoy the taste and sneak one or two myself when they are at school.  Shh, don't tell!

In my previous post Free Yoplait Kids Yogurt, Traveler Cooler, Fun Spoon, Placemat and Puzzle, I discussed the cool prizes 2 lucky participants will receive.  Without further ado, here are the 2 winners of the Yoplait Kids Contest:  Dnbuster and Cyndi B.  Congratulations to the winners!

Venusity would like to take this opportunity to thank everyone for entering and wish you all a happy holiday season!

Check out this creative commercial for Yoplait and how a little girl manages to get a taste of the little boy's yogurt:

Free Yoplait Kids Yogurt, Travel Cooler, Fun Spoon, Place Mat and Puzzle!

My latest contest thanks to My Blog Spark gives away free Yoplait kids yogurt coupons, travel cooler, fun spoon, place mat and fuzzy puzzle to 2 lucky readers! It's a quick contest so hurry to enter. Winners will be chosen and announced by the end of Saturday, December 12, 2009.

Are you searching for a snack for the kids that tastes good and is good for them? Yoplait Kids yogurt is the perfect solution with 25% less sugar than the leading kids´ yogurt. With its thick and creamy texture that will hug your little one´s spoon, you won´t have to worry about a sticky mess to clean up afterwards. It also contains no artificial sweeteners or flavors, so you can feel good about serving it to your kids.

In addition, Yoplait Kids is a good source of vitamin D and, according to two new studies that provide the first national assessment of the crucial nutrient in young Americans, millions of U.S. children have disturbingly low vitamin D levels, possibly increasing their risk for a variety of health concerns, including bone problems. About 7.6 million children, adolescents, and young adults have vitamin D levels so low they could be considered deficient. It can be challenging for growing kids to get enough vitamin D because this nutrient is only found naturally in very few foods; however Yoplait Kids makes it a little easier to incorporate a delicious source of vitamin D and calcium in your child´s diet.

The lucky winners will receive a coupon* for any of the Yoplait Kids yogurt products along with a Yoplait Less Sugar, More Fun prize pack. Perfect for accompanying this fun afternoon snack, the Yoplait Less Sugar, More Fun prize pack includes coupon for a Yoplait Kids yogurt, a travel cooler (to take your yogurt on-the-go), a fun spoon that changes colors in warm water, a reusable place mat with games to keep the kids happy while snacking, and a fuzzy tangle puzzle for some after-snack fun.

Thanks to My Blog Spark and Yoplait, I am giving away 2 prize packages by December 12. You have to be in it to win it, so send me an email at getintowin@gmail.com with "Yoplait Kids" in the subject line and your name.

*This coupon offer for a free six pack of Yoplait Kids yogurt is not valid in some states, including Idaho, Louisiana, Nevada, New Jersey, North Dakota and Tennessee.

Susan Boyle Makeover

The Susan Boyle makeover is amazing! The results of the Susan Boyle makeover by Harper's Bazaar are sure to have Sharon Osbourne eating her words. After facing an array of insults despite her angelic voice, the Susan Boyle makeover shows the world this lady from Blackburn, Scotland is also pretty.

Before the Susan Boyle makeover, this talented women had to deal with all types of insults about her eyebrows and other aspects of her appearance. I always thought Susan Boyle, age 48, had a beautiful inner and outer glow. Her voice is captivating!  I wrote about it back in April, "Does Susan Boyle Need a Makeover?"

After the Susan Boyle makeover, the world recognizes how lovely this singer is – inside and out. Despite the comments about her allegedly plain appearance, Susan Boyle gained international recognition as a runner up on Britain's Got Talent in April, 2008.

What does Susan think of her new fame? “It does feel unreal...but it's good, all good.”

The Susan Boyle makeover is all good, too. Check out the clip to see what you think of the Susan Boyle makeover proving she is a women with total Venusity.

TWILF - Is Sarah Palin One?

TWILF and “Gun-Ho” are seemingly unflattering terms used by Al Gore's Current TV to describe former Alaska Governor Sarah Palin.

After announcing another big layoff, there's more talk about Gore's Current TV attacking conservatives such as Sarah Palin in a cartoon, “The Stupid Virus”.

The Urban Dictionary clears up the meaning of TWILF to reassure us it isn't a complimentary statement about Sarah Palin. Hmm...is she one who farts in the bathtub and bites the bubbles...somehow I think it's one of the other definitions...

Newsbusters has the complete story about Sarah Palin being called a TWILF along with a revealing links about what they describe as “disgraceful, sexually-charged epithets”.  Somehow I don't think it's a term with Venusity...

If you're still thinking about Sarah Palin running for vice president, here's her full speech at the RNC (can you make it through it?).

Water On The Moon

Never mind Venus today...water on the moon is one of the biggest reasons many felt space travel was essential. As we continue to voraciously consume our resources on Earth, did NASA really find water on the moon?

Time magazine reports water on the moon was found, a major breakthrough since we've been traveling to the moon. According to Anthony Colaprete, the principal investigator for NASA's Lunar Crater Observation and Sensing Satellite (LCROSS), "Yes, we found water."

Did they find water on the moon intentionally or by accident? The LCROSS mission was the one that ended with a huge crash on the moon's surface around a month ago. The crash was intentional an done in two separation stages on October 9. The crash made the discovery of water on the moon possible.

In a place where the water ice is tucked in craters near the poles, where the sun never shines and where temperatures are hundreds of degrees below zero, 24 gallons of water on the moon were found.

The first piece of LCROSS slammed into a crater called Careus located about 60 miles from the south pole of the moon, creating a hole of 60 feet across. Four minutes later, the second part of the space craft came down with the instruments analyzying the dust cloud to see what it was made of before finding water on the moon.

Information was not readily available at the time and Colaprete said it took 28-hour days to find water on the moon.

What is the importance of water on the moon? These discoveries help us to better understand the history of the moon. There are also those who feel the moon would be a place to relocate if we exhume all the resources here. Does water on the moon make Earth a throwaway planet now? Somehow I don't think so...

Sexercise For Women

Sexercise for women sounds almost naughty but it's not. Sexercise for women is focused on working out your hip or pelvic floor muscles, formally known as Kegel muscles. Did you even know you weren't exercising them?

Women who have been pregnant become familiar with sexercise for women. Women who go through pregnancy are encouraged to do Kegel exercises to improve the birthing process and tighten up loose Kegel muscles after giving birth. But why is everyone doing sexercise for women these days?

When your pelvic floor muscles are strong and toned, the quality of your intimate love love improves. Certainly sounds like inspiration to exercise...I mean sexercise...to me.

If you have given birth, those loosened Kegal muscles might minimize your enjoyment of intimate moments. Weight gain and aging also weaken the Kegel muscles. Sexercise for women tightens up those Kegal muscles for a healthy boost of self-esteem.

One of the most well-known sexercise for women techniques is the pelvic up-and-down. You lay down and bend your knees, slowly raising your buttocks while contracting them until your upper back and knees become a straight line. Hold the position for a few seconds, move down without touching the floor or mat, lock your stomach muscles and repeat.

There are several other sexercise for women moves at My Exercise For Women. I never imagined we had more muscles to work on...but at least these have sweet benefits.

Target $3 Appliances

Target $3 appliances sound like an online myth but apparently it's not. Do Target $3 appliances really exist? We discovered the Target Black Friday Ad - It's Here! An array of items will be deeply discounted for Black Friday, including Target $3 appliances. So what are these Target $3 appliances anyway?

The rumored Target $3 appliances are from Chefmate and include a toaster, a 12-cup coffee maker, a slow cooker and a sandwich maker. This drastic cut in culinary costs makes us wonder how profitable Target $3 appliances will be for the company.

It also brings to mind the days when moms used to beg their husbands to get ANYTHING but kitchen appliances as holiday gifts. This year it seems everyone will want to take advantage of Target $3 appliances as gifts and for their own personal use.

Frankly, I'm breaking all past rules and telling my husband to check out the Target $3 appliances, especially that slow cooker I've wanted for awhile...after all, a girl with Venusity also has to cook...

Friday the 13th Superstitions

Today is Friday the 13th, which might bring to mind the spooky Friday the 13th superstitions, movies, black cats and a variety of superstitions. Since 13 is my lucky number, I never get worried about Friday the 13th superstitions. What made Friday the 13th a traditional day to fear?

If you're superstitious, 2009 is a year to drive you crazy with Friday the 13th occurring three times. In 2009, we saw Friday the 13th in February, March and November. But getting back to fear...when did Friday the 13th start to become so scary?

The fear of Friday the 13th is formally known as paraskevidekatriphobia. A Gallup poll in 1990 revealed 9 percent of Americans believe Friday the 13th is a jinxed day to avoid. The only widespread superstitions beating Friday the 13th are a black cat crossing your path (14 percent) and walking under a ladder (12 percent).

According to Wikipedia, it is believed two fears are represented by Friday the 13th. Western culture had a fear of Friday and the number 13. In Christianity, 13 is the number of people at the Last Supper. Jesus was present with his 12 apostles and betrayer Judas was the 13th apostle to arrive at the Last Supper.

The number 13 can be traced further back to Norse mythology. It is believed hero Balder was killed at a banquet by God Loki, who was the 13th person in the group. Coupled with the story of the Last Supper, it's easy to see why 13 became considered an unlucky number over the centuries. It might also make you want to avoid meals where 13 guests are in attendance!

Is 13 related to Paganism? Many Pagans considered 13 a lucky number with 13 lunar cycles in a year. The demotion of 13 is also related to Christianity and the Battle of Hastings. When King Harold II decided on Friday the 13th in October, 1066 to go to battle on October 14, the English lost and King Harold was killed. It was believed he should have allowed the troops to rest, which made 13 more unlucky. It was also a way to degrade Pagan beliefs.

Adding to superstitious behavior, did you notice hotels don't have a 13th floor and airplanes don't have a 13th row? Apparently the fear of 13 remains alive and well in the modern world.

According to a National Geographic article about Friday the 13th, Donald Dossey, founder of the Stress Management Center and Phobia Institute in North Carolina, stated, “It's been estimated that $800 or $900 million is lost in business [US] this day because people will not fly or do business as they normally do.”

We won't see Friday the 13th for awhile since it returns against in August, 2010. It won't be back again until May, 2011. Happy Friday the 13th because ladies with Venusity have fun EVERYDAY! Enjoy the original trailer of the 1980 movie “Friday the 13th.”

Barbara Mandrell Biography

Barbara Mandrell is the only woman to date to win the Country Music Awards “Entertainer of the Year” award twice. Taylor Swift won the “Entertainer of the Year” award for 2009 and Barbara Mandrell was inducted in the Country Music Hall of Fame. The Barbara Mandrell biography added a touch of nostalgic history to the 43^rd Annual Country Music Awards in Nashville.

Barbara Ann Mandrell was born on Christmas, December 25, 1948, to a musical family in Houston, Texas. Barbara started singing at 5 and by the time she was 11, played steel guitar for Chet Atkins and Joe Maphin at a Chicago music trade convention. After her performance, Barbara was invited by Maphin to be a regular featured performer at his nightclub show in Vegas.

Between 1981 and 1983, Barbara Mandrell received multiple country music industry awards. Her popular songs include “One of a Kind Pair of Fools” and “I Was Country When Country Wasn't Cool”. In 1984, Barbara Mandrell survived a serious automobile accident during the peak of her popularity.

Martina McBride, with George Strait and Charlie McCoy performed an awesome rendition of “I Was Country When Country Wasn't Cool” to pay tribute to Barbara Mandrell during the CMA. Barbara was moved to tears. McBride felt it was a great honor to perform for Barbara Mandrell because she is an inspiration to all female country singers.

After the CMA, Barbara Mandrell went backstage to offer her praises to 19 year old Taylor Swift and let her know she looks forward to following her career.

Beautiful Barbara Mandrell is one of my favorites because of her distinctive voice and feminine strength.  My daughter loves Taylor Swift, another talented and inspirational country star.  Both of these ladies definitely have "Venusity".

Get Healthy Giveaway - We Have A Winner!

Thanks to MyBlogSpark, Venusity is giving away a great “Get Healthy” prize package with a stylish sports bag, sports towel, ear buds and two free coupons* for any flavor of the new YoPlus Light yogurt.
*Please note: These free coupons are not valid in Louisiana, Nevada and North Dakota.

My daughter, L'il Ms. Venusity, selected the winner from all the entries received. Let's have a drum roll as we announce the winner...d.d.! Congratulations d.d., I will contact you for additional information about shipping your prize package from MyBlogSpark.

An effusive “thank you” to everyone else who entered the contest. If you didn't win this time, keep watching for more great giveaways and contests at Venusity!

A Free Family Night At The Movies! The Winner Is...

Thanks to MyBlogSpark, I am giving away great goodies on my blog this month.  One of our contests was for General Mills.  The winner will receive 4 movie passes (up to $12 value) and a coupon for a free box of General Mills Cereal, compliments of Venusity and MyBlogSpark.

My daughter (mini Venusity) did the honor of picking the winner from all the entries.  Without further ado, drum roll please...and the winner is...Ginny!  Congratulations Ginny, I look forward to receiving your details so MyBlogSpark can send your prize.

Please keep watching for more great contests and giveaways.  Thank you to everyone who entered the contest.  Remember, you are a walking example of beautiful Venusity in motion!

Hallmark Store Holiday Open House

Every year, we go holiday shopping at the Hallmark store. I don't have the time or energy to search endlessly for the right gifts. The Hallmark store is a no-brainer with all kinds of cool gems for everyone on my list.

We went to the Hallmark store last night to get Thanksgiving cards. I could not find any specialized Thanksgiving cards in Rite Aid so I decided to go for the sure thing - Hallmark!

I had no idea November 7 and November 8 was the weekend designed as Hallmark's Holiday Open House. The kids and I had a blast! All the new holiday goodies were out and we could not resist doing a little Christmas shopping.

A new display of customized holiday snowman ornament was out. The little snow people have names or messages. Best of all, there is a little button on the bottom of each snow person to make it light up! You can also purchase a matching bag to finish off your pretty gift.

There are snow people for parents, grandparents, teachers and a wide range of names. The kids are ahead of me now with their Christmas shopping because they decided to get the snow people for Grandma and Grandpa.

Believe it or not, we scoffed up the last "I Love Grandma" snowlady on the display! The personnel could not tell me when the display would be restocked so we were glad to be there the first day of the Hallmark Holiday Open House.

By the way, I also found the loveliest Thanksgiving cards. I treated myself to a mini pumpkin Yankee candle and a small box of Godiva milk chocolate pearls. (Yes I did spend that 5 bucks on me and it felt good. Shhh, don't tell!) I often give both as gifts for holidays and occasions. They are affordable gifts eveyone always loves!

I also found what I want for Christmas. Every year, my husband buys me a gift from Hallmark. This year, I want an adorable Hallmark ornament with two pink purses and sunglasses that says, "Like mother, like daughter". My daughter found it and we agreed it was the gift of the year (she'll make sure to tell daddy!)

Do you shop at the Hallmark store for the holidays? Are Hallmark cards and gifts your favorite! We'll be back to Hallmark for our Christmas cards and more!

Sesame Street 40th Anniversary - Celebrate With Big Bird on Google

A year after I was born, Sesame Street was introduced to public television and children's programming was never the same.  I remember being pinned to the screen to see Big Bird, Oscar the Grouch, Cookie Monster, Grover, Maria, Mr. Hooper and all the other Sesame Street favorites.  I didn't even realize I was learning as I watched these fascinating puppets and people.

Just a short decade ago, I enjoyed Sesame Street all over again with my children.  Today Sesame Street celebrates its 40th anniversary.  To commemorate this major event, Google is featuring Big Bird on their search page.  It was exciting to see one of my fave Sesame Street characters featured on Google!  What a fusion of old days and the modern world!

The Huffington Post featured an article showing the cool new Google screen for today.  Instead of the traditional primary colored letters, Big Bird's legs are used for the "L".  Sesame Street has grown with our children and is now televised in 140 countries!

If you still didn't get enough Sesame Street and Big Bird at Google, the Sesame Workshop released 2 books to celebrate their 40th anniversary and the history of this popular children's program.  Check out "Street Gang: The Complete History of Sesame Street" and "A Celebration of 40 Years of Life on the Street."

Do your children watch Sesame Street from the Childrens Televison Workshop?  Did you love Sesame Street and Big Bird as a child?  Go see one of your favorite faces everytime you Google today. Sesame Street always celebrated the beauty in EVERYONE.

Happy Anniversary Sesame Street - and thanks for making generations of children happy!

Where Do I Vote?

If you're a diva who hasn't voted in awhile, you're not alone.  Today gives you another chance to get it right.  Are you always complaining about the state of affairs in this country? Well, today is your day to get off the sofa and put the democratic process to work. Election Day is a time when we all get to cast our votes to show how we really feel about policy and candidates. If you haven't voted in awhile, the first question you have is likely to be, "Where do I vote?"

You may also wonder if you are still registered to vote. Don't let another year slide by without taking a stance. Check out Vote411 to find answers to essential Election Day questions such as...
-Am I registered to vote?

-How do I register to vote?

-Where do I vote?

-What is on my ballot?

-MORE!

Stand up and be counted!

A Free Family Night At The Movies!

Thanks to My BlogSpark and General Mills, I am proud to offer a fabulous family night out to the movies for four. Get four free passes to the movies and box of your favorite General Mills cereal to snack on! Check it out:

Starting in November, you can receive a free movie ticket when you purchase two specially marked packages of General Mills’ Cereals. After purchasing two cereals, visit generalmills.com/moviecash to enter the code found inside each box of cereal and print your free movie certificate good for admission to any movie.

Participating brands include select sizes of: Honey Nut Cheerios, Cinnamon Toast Crunch, Lucky Charms, Trix and Reese’s Peanut Butter Puffs.

To find a participating theater near you, log onto
http://emoviecash.com/dis_locator/.

The lucky winner of this contest will receive a “Movie Moment” prize pack that includes 4 e-movie cash certificates ($12 each) and one (1) free coupon for a General Mills cereal.

All you need to do to enter is send an email with the signature line "General Mills Movies" to getintowin@gmail.com before November 6. The winner will be announced right here! Good luck everyone!

Tsundere

Dedicated to the women of Venusity:

Morose, aloof,

Love is a spoof.

Struck in the face,

Heart has no place

No muse,

Diffused.

Exhausted, spent,

Cannot relent.

Control is mine,

Reality divine.

Fingertips spell,

Your own living hell.

Morbid and real,

Nobody feels.

Zombies for me,

Lemmings to sea.

Get on your moe-joe,

Don't ever show

Wistful dreams,

Silent screams.

The queen is here,

Gather near.

Commands take flight,

Dark turns light.

Fingers tighten

Will they enlighten

Or take the last breath,

Bring you to death.

Love brings pain,

Gentle fingers drain.

Deadly yet soft,

Trapped in her loft.

(c) Stacey "Mamasaid" D 2009 All Rights Reserved

Walmart Caskets - Halloween Hoax or Real Deal?

Walmart is a place shoppers go for groceries, clothing, electronics, sporting goods, appliances and even eyeglasses in select locations. Known as a store selling just about everything, could Walmart caskets be a reality?

Rumor said Walmart caskets were a Halloween hoax. Others thought Walmart caskets were a Halloween decoration for those who wanted to play Dracula for the kiddies. But are Walmart caskets an actual item available along with the diapers, feminine products and socks?

Not exactly. Most people can't transport caskets on their own. Walmart caskets are offered online along with urns. Whichever your preferences, Wally's World will ship them to your home or funeral home in 48 hours. Guess what? There are no returns...unless, of course, your final resting place is damaged during shipping.

Are the prices low like other stuff at Walmart? You have a selection of 14 Walmart caskets under the funeral tab at their website. Prices start at $999 and go up to a little over $3,000. Caskets cost about 100 bucks to ship via FedEx to your doorstep. Imagine what your neighbors would think when that huge package arrives? Do you think they would ask your elderly neighbor to accept it if you weren't home?

I never imagined there would someday be Walmart caskets...though I suppose we all should have known.  As for a beautiful resting place...well, that's another subject.

Win "The Joan Crawford Murders" By Peter Joseph Swanson

Venusity is all about celebrating the inner beauty that shines through you.  Part of Venusity is absolute fabulousity, the perfect term to describe both Joan Crawford and Peter Joseph Swanson. 

Part of Swanson's Tinseltown Trilogy, "The Joan Crawford Murders" combine Old Hollywood glamour with mystery and chills.  What a perfect combination for Halloween!  Here's a summary about the book from Amazon.com:

In the second novel of the Tinseltown trilogy, Joan Crawford returns to MGM in 1953. Her comeback to her alma mater is to make the garish musical Torch Song. Joan suspects that it's hokum, and that she's getting too old for such parts, but she is desperate to make it work. That includes living at the studio in her dressing room during production. All the while, a psycho killer Joan Crawford drag queen stalks Hollywood to eliminate other Joan Crawford drag queens, and Joan is so strung out on vodka and super strength diet pills that she isn't sure if she has taken up murder herself. Her gay best friend is poised ready to help her party. A powerful gangster is only interested in saving her reputation until death, and her loyal hairdresser has a son who has his own sneaky Joan Crawford secrets. The final epic showdown between Joan Crawford and Joan Crawford is beyond any movie ending ever filmed.

Who can resist this?  At the risk of not winning my own copy, I'm sharing an exciting contest to win "The Joan Crawford Murders".  To find out about this fabulous contest offered by two Gather greats, click here. 

Good luck - not!  I want one!  No really, good luck.  (It is also autographed by the author! Woot!)

"Get Healthy" Giveaway For You

Are you looking to cut calories before the holidays? Do you want to look and feel your best for all those holiday gatherings with friends, family and business associates? YoPlus Light is a perfect as a daily meal or snack to keep you on track.

Thanks to MyBlogSpark, I am offering a fantastic healthy prize package from YoPlus Light. Here's what MyBlogSpark has to say about YoPlus Light:

When juggling a hectic schedule of everyday life, it may be difficult to find the time for foods that will help keep you feeling on track. But, that doesn’t have to be the case anymore with the help of YoPlus Light yogurt, a quick, healthy snack that also helps regulate your digestive system without compromising calorie intake or taste!

With only 70 calories, YoPlus Light contains a special blend of probiotic cultures, 3 grams of natural dietary fiber and the same great taste you expect from Yoplait. Even better, YoPlus Light is now available in three new delicious flavors – Key Lime Pie, Honey Vanilla and Strawberry Banana – and is already available in supermarkets nationwide.

The exciting “Get Healthy” giveaway offered here at Venusity includes a stylish sports bag, sports towel, ear buds and two free coupons* for any flavor of the new YoPlus Light yogurt.

*Please note: These free coupons are not valid in Louisiana, Nevada and North Dakota.

Additionally, you can now download a $1.00 off coupon for YoPlus Light here: href="http://bricks.coupons.com/bstart.asp?o=57800&ci=1&c=GM&p=4XeBjIE"

My personal favorite is honey vanilla, rich and yum! My son prefers crisp Key Lime while my daughter enjoys sweet strawberry banana. There's nothing to buy, do or agree to. Simply send an email to getintowin@gmail.com with "Get Healthy" in the subject line. A winner will be chosen on November 6. I will inform you by email and request your mailing address so MyBlogSpark can send the prize directly to you.

Good luck!

A Novel Like This Arrives "Once In A Blue Moon"

When One2One asked me to review “Once In A Blue Moon” by Eileen Goudge, I was warned. They let me know, “Your work, life, laundry and grocery shopping can wait, because you won't be able to put this one down, we promise.” I could not put the book down. In fact, I stayed up past 3 in the morning to gobble up the ending!

The formal description of “Once In A Blue Moon” offered by One2One was:

Sisters Lindsay and Kerrie Ann have known hardship from an early age. Without guidance from their neglectful mother, their only aid came from an unlikely source, a retired exotic dancer by the name of Miss Honi Love. When the girls’ mother was sent to prison, Miss Honi tried unsuccessfully to save them from being separated and sent into foster care.

Thirty years later, Lindsay is still trying to reconnect with her sister. The owner of a bookstore in the sleepy California seaside town of Blue Moon Bay, she was lucky enough to have been adopted by a loving couple. Unbeknownst to her, Kerrie Ann has suffered a very different life. Bounced from one foster home to the next, she ran away as a teenager before becoming a drug-addicted single mother. Now, newly sober, Kerrie Ann is fighting to regain custody of the little girl who was taken from her.

Neither sister’s expectations are met when they’re finally reunited. But as the two sisters engage in the fiercest battles of their lives, they are at last drawn together despite their differences, restoring belief in the unshakable bond of family.

I had no idea I would become addicted to reading about these characters. Much like chocolate, I had to savor every bit. You can see, smell, taste, hear and feel the descriptions Goudge paints with her pen. Her characters come alive off the page, grabbing you and making you a part of their world. The women are strong, vulnerable, unique, recognizable and completely real.

“Once In A Blue Moon” also has plenty of romance along the way. Will Lindsay wind up with pragmatic Grant or irresistible Randall? Will Kerrie Ann get back with Bella's wayward dad Jeremiah or be sweet on Ollie, the pastry chef at her Lindsay's book store and cafe? Honi Love adds a touch of humor and reality with her unusual method of surrogate mothering.

As Kerrie Ann fights to regain custody of her daughter Bella, Lindsay is confronted with saving the home she inherited from her adoptive parents. Hotel mogul Lloyd Heywood wants her peaceful oceanfront acreage for a golf course and resort and won't take no for an answer.

I could not put “Once In A Blue Moon” down until I knew whether Lindsay kept her home, Kerri Ann regained custody of Bella and who would hook up or not. A compelling book such as this only comes along “Once In A Blue Moon”.

Eileen Goudge is a New York Times bestselling author married to entertainment reporter Sandy Kenyon and living in New York City. Novels written by this bestselling author include “The Diary”, “Domestic Affairs”, “Garden Of Lies” and “Thorns Of Truth.” Over five million copies of her books are in print worldwide.

Visit Eileen Goudge's website to find out more about “Once In A Blue Moon” and her other work.

It's A Hairy Situation

As the summer melts into fall, we all realize our hair is sun bleached and damaged.  Whether your hair is blonde, red, brown, black or gray, exposure to the sun alters its color and appearance.  As fall marches forward, we want our hair to look soft and consistent again.

Today I read a Gather post by Diane D entitled, "My Friend Did My Hair".  Diane suffered a minor hair calamity when she used an ash tone to smooth out her summer fade.  Her hair turned up greenish so she recruited a talented friend to help her fix it.  The results were stellar and she looks gorgeous!

Meanwhile, I just colored my hair the same shade her friend used to correct her color.  We both used medium blonde and I marveled that it comes out darker than it looks on the package.  Diane requested a pic so I decided to oblige.

I've been coloring my own hair successfully for decades.  I can't even remember my real hair color anymore!  I think it's a dark blonde with lots of icky gray at this point.

My hair is like an accessory to me.  I've had every shade under the sun because to me hair is fun!  Some are flattering, some I never want to see again.  My favorite is blonde because frankly, I've really had a lot of good times as a golden-haired girl.  Besides, it is closest to my natural color.

I decided to share a few tips along with some brand suggestions:

Highlighting adds lighter color blocks to your current hair color.  You can make them thin or bold.  Frosting is when you put on a cap, pull hairs through and lighten them.

Favorites:  L'oreal Colour Experte is premium.  You get the base hair color plus a highlighting kit in one package.  The two colors are perfectly matched for a natural look.  The kit usually costs between $15 and $20, which is a real deal compared to the cost of professional hair coloring.

Affordable alternative: Garnier has a highlighting kit that works well with their Nutrisse hair colors.  With a good sale, you can get both for under ten bucks with awesome results.

Lowlighting is the opposite - darker streaks through a lighter color.  Your teens are probably doing this.  L'oreal makes lowlighting kits but it isn't my thing.

Bleaching lightens your hair and can also dry it out when done improperly.  One of the easiest ways I found to lighten my hair is Revlon Colorsilk.  For about $5 (less if on sale), their ultimate blondes really get your hair light without spending big bucks at a salon.

If you don't have time to color your hair, there are plenty of products made just for you.  Clairol Pro 10 is fantastic and only takes 10 minutes.  The kit comes with a comb through dispenser, gloves and after color conditioner.  With an array of rich shades to choose from, it's easy to see why this option costs about $13.

For about half the price, L'oreal Excellence just came out with their own 10 minute hair color.  It works just as well as Clairol for less money.  There are less shades to choose from but still enough to find what you want.

For those on a totally tight budget, you can't miss with Revlon Colorsilk.  Last week Rite Aid ran a sale on it for $2.50 each.  The product comes with gloves and an after color conditioner for a complete salon experience at home.  You don't need big bucks to be beautiful!

Finally, ash shades neutralize reddish tones but may come up grayish or greenish on bleached hair.
Here's to coloring your world beautiful on a budget!

What Is Your Definition of Beauty?

I was recently reading about a photo exhibit called Posing Beauty at Tisch School of the Arts at New York University. The exhibit is based on the book of the same name by curator Deborah Willis. The thought-provoking exhibit questions the definition of African beauty and makes you consider how gender, aesthetics and class are represented in art.

Deborah Willis based the book Posing Beauty on 10 years of photos and research from archives, galleries, friends, family and photographers. For the exhibit, Williams gathered a vast spectrum of images representing beauty for over a century. She expresses who beauty is defined, marketed and exploited.

This made me consider the definition of beauty. What does it really mean? Of course we can always turn to our trusty Webster dictionary for a generic definition, so why not consider it:

beauty -

1. the quality or aggregate of qualities in a person or thing that gives pleasure to the senses or pleasurably exalts the mind or spirit: loveliness
2. a beautiful person or thing; especially : a beautiful woman
3. a particularly graceful, ornamental, or excellent quality
4. a brilliant, extreme, or egregious example or instance

Wow, that was rather eye-opening. We can even consider our mistakes “a beauty”. Our qualities should bring pleasure to the senses and exalt the mind and spirit. Certainly beauty seems to go skin deep when you consider its literal definition.

What do famous women say about beauty? How do women who have been judged by their beauty all their lives feel about this word? I decided to find out:

I'm not ugly, but my beauty is a total creation.

Tyra Banks, Model/talk show host/author

Tyra Banks, host of America's Next Top Model, was a Victoria's Secret model for years. Tyra dares to be fashion and figure forward in her approach to beauty. Viewing beauty as a total creation gives us the ability to work on all the aspects of our inner and outer glow.

It was God who made me so beautiful. If I weren't, then I'd be a teacher.

Linda Evangelista, Supermodel

Alright, it's this kind of thinking we have to erase. Beautiful women can be smart and vice versa. Hiding behind God to make such a shallow and inaccurate statement is a cloud on inner beauty.

The most beautiful things in the world cannot be seen or even touched, they must be felt with the heart.

Helen Keller, Author/educator who was blind and deaf (1880-1968)

The ability to use other senses to know beauty was an asset to Helen Keller. While she could not see or hear, her heart could feel true beauty right away. If we closed our eyes and ears for a moment to shut out the din of the world, we might be able to sense real beauty ourselves.

Beauty is how you feel inside, and it reflects in your eyes. It is not something physical.

Sophia Loren, Actress

Why does that women attract all the attention even though she's not the most “beautiful” one in the room? It's that inner glow that shines through her eyes, skin, hair, smile and overall essence.

Do you dare to challenge your own perceptions of the fundamentals of beauty? Will you let the media and the perceptions of others define your opinion of yourself and others? As singer Christina Aguilera wisely crooned, “We are beautiful, no matter what they say...we are beautiful in every single way.”

What Is Your Self-Perception?

What is your self-perception? My recent exploration into the world of beauty lead me right to inner well-being. While the media may define beauty narrowly, do you have a broader definition? Does that definition apply to you or are you overly critical of yourself?

Curious about my own self-perception, I decided to take a test to find out where I stand right now:


My Self Perception

Investment in Appearance	50
Investment in Body Integrity	42

You are not overly invested in your appearance, but you do like to look good. You are not an overly emotional person, but you do somewhat care about how people see you. If something occurs that makes you feel unattractive it has the potential to make you feel a bit stressed. While your health is important to you, it is not the most important factor in your life. You do not like to get sick, but you have a good attitude towards illness and can cope with sickness ok.

Free Poll earrings jewelry

I was pleased to see I'm not overly emotional about how others see me. For years I was too concerned about the opinions of others. It was great I could handle illness, especially since I have chronic physical conditions.

I was concerned that health was not the most important factor in my life. My quest for knowledge about beauty and health is timely to help me properly priortize personal well-being. How did you do on the self-perception test?

Weighing In On Our Womanly Bodies

Are women still expected to be unrealistically thin to be beautiful? On the other hand, do we make naturally slender women feel guilty for their fat-free physiques? Despite recognition women come in all sizes and shapes, weight wars wage on.

Recently curvaceous Kim Kardashian stuck up for Jessica Simpson after an NFL commercial mocking Simpson's weight. The NFL Fox Sunday cartoon featured Dallas Cowboys characters chuckling about Simpson's shape. Burger King and Fox sponsored the cartoon on October 11 the apologized for it on Wednesday.

The skit shows the Dallas head coach asking Simpson's ex-boyfriend quarterback Tony Romo, “Is Jessica around, we sure could use a defensive tackle.” Jason Witten, Romo pal, adds, “Unlike Tony, at least Jessica comes up big when it counts.”

Kim Kardashian commented to PopEater, “I'm glad they apologized. Fox shouldn't be making fun of Jessica Simpson who has such an amazing body. She's clearly not overweight and laughing about that gives young girls the wrong message.” Kardashian is familiar with sports media scrutiny as the girlfriend of New Orleans Saints running back Reggie Bush.

While Kim Kardashian defends the rights of full-figured women, Karl Lagerfield defends slim models. After losing 92 pounds in 13 months himself, Lagerfield penned, “The Karl Lagerfield Diet” all about it. Karl spoke to Focus, a German magazine, about best-selling German magazine Brigitte deciding to use “ordinary, realistic” women rather than professional models.

Lagerfield feels Brigitte's plan is absurd, stating women who complain about skinny models, “These are fat mummies sitting with their bags of crisps in front of the television, saying that thin models are ugly.” He goes on to say the fashion industry is supporting “dream and illusions, and no one wants to see round women.”

Lagerfield also spoke to Guardian to dispel myths that most models have eating disorders, saying, “It is
just as much a cliché as saying that all models take drugs and get drunk at sex orgies. Ninety percent of them are quite normal, properly proportioned girls with less fat and more muscles, who also eat pizzas and burgers.”

The editor of Brigitte, Andreas Lebert, disagrees. He told the Guardian on October 5, the magazine was done fattening up thin models through Photoshop and would work with real women only as of January 2. Lebert said, “Today's models weigh around 23% less than normal women. The whole model industry is anorexic. We will show women who have their own identity, the 18-year-old A-level student, the company chairwomen, the musician, the footballer.”

Women come in all shapes and sizes. As a female consumer, I've been young, thin, heavy, pregnant and older and want to see a little of everything. The runways should accurately reflect the streets. An array of different, beautiful women make anything more alluring.

Just as models are skinny today, in decades gone by it was popular to be curvy. Beauty should never be defined by a single type of woman with so many diverse, delightful feminine faces and bodies. We all want someone to relate to, not a fantasy. As Queen Latifah reminded us, optimum health should be the focus rather than meeting media standards.

As more female consumer veer away from traditional marketing techniques, it seems like a good time for the fashion industry to get real. Let's revere women thin, fat, old, young and every color of the rainbow for their personal, unique brand of beauty. We're sure to see a healthy boost of self-esteem among women.

Are You Petite?

Do you stand tall at 5'4" or under? Are you tired of draggy jeans and skirts to your knees? More than half the women in the United States are under 5'4" so stand up and be counted!

At I Am Petite you will find a wealth of info to help you look and feel your best. From the latest fashion finds to petite celebrity news to tips for looking great, I Am Petite is the ultimate resources for petite fashionistas.

I Am Petite also features special deals and discounts at major online retailers such as Macy's, Banana Republic, Talbots, J. Crew and more. Celebrate your one-of-a-kind beauty with fabulous fashion finds from I Am Petite.

Are You In Your Right Mind?

Here's a fun one to figure out if you are a right brain thinker or a left brain thinker.  Are you in your right mind?  I am!  Check it out to see if you're motivated by practicality or creativity, it only takes a couple of minutes:

Right Brain/ Left Brain Quiz The higher of these two numbers below indicates which side of your brain has dominance in your life. Realising your right brain/left brain tendancy will help you interact with and to understand others. Left Brain Dominance: (12) Right Brain Dominance: (14) Right Brain/ Left Brain Quiz

Can You Imagine Your Face On A Handbag?

Can you imagine your face appearing on a customized handbag?  Picture your children's beautiful faces looking at you from your daily tote bag.  Is it possible to even measure the joy grandma would feel to receive a coin purse with her grandchildren's picture?  How about making sure your significant other remembers you all day with your pic on his mouse pad?  Personalized gifts are the best but who has the time?  It's time you discovered Artscow.com for the perfect gift every time.

At Artscow.com it only takes five minutes to create and order your own unique designs.  Just download your favorite photo onto a mouse pad, magnet, clock, puzzle, tote bag, purse and more.  Place your order and receive afforadable, personalized gifts within a month.

Now is the perfect time to order personalized gifts for the holidays.  Forget about combat shopping at the malls or endlessly perusing the Web for deals.  Simply take advantage of the online coupons and savings listed at Artscow.com under "Special Sales" to get great deals on holiday gifts.  Be creative and slip gift cards into personlized coin purses or pencil cases for the kids.

It is free to register at Artscow.com and you can play with various designs without ordering anything.  See how photos look on various gifts then decide on your favorites and order.  It's that easy to get the perfect, affordable holiday gift at Artscow.com.

When you join in October, take advantage of 1200 free print credits and 3 8" x 8" photo books when you register through this link.  Who knew the perfect gift could be so easy?

Designer Discounts Everyday - Invitation For Free Membership To The Club!

Are you tired of going to stores ending in "mart" for your clothing and accessories? Do you long to have a moment of designer bliss without losing the current shirt off your back? Accept my invitation to join member-only designer discount club Rue La La for free.

Do you know the feeling of victory when you spot that designer discount item at an outlet outing? Have you ever scored a designer deal at an estate sale or yard sale? Get that rush online when you accept my gracious invitation to join Rue La La for free.

Your exclusive money-saving Rue La La membership doesn't cost a dime. There's no minimum purchase required to remain a prestigous member of this exclusive designer discount club. Simply stop by to check out the latest, greatest finds. Score a designer handbag, evening dress, suit, jeans and more at Rue La La whenever you're in the mood.

From Vera Bradley to Juicy Couture, you'll find all your favorites for less. Beauty starts with being smart. Save money on looking good when you join Rue La La right now.

What Beauty Items Do YOU Like?

I recently discovered Likaholix, a website where you share your likes and dislikes.  It is a great way to voice your opinion and find out what other people think about beauty products, fashion, music and more.  I am a beauty tastemaker for Likaholix offering updates about an array of beauty items.

Come visit me there to find out the latest, greatest beauty finds.  Join to share your own likes, dislikes and experiences at Likaholix.

Gathering For Beauty

Besides the Venusity blog, I run a group called "Beauty and Makeup" at Gather.  This social networking website takes socialization to a whole new level.  Besides linking with great people and reading valuable content, you earn points for cash and gift cards.  Here is a link to join Gather so you can check out "Beauty and Makeup":

Keep in touch.
And discover something new.
My stuff:
http://mamasaid.gather.com/joinme.action

While you are there, you must read a fantastic article penned by Ed Williams entitled, "Thank God For Full-Figured Women".  His humor and honesty are sure to make you smile and feel better about yourself - just the way you are!  While you are there, make sure to visit me at Beauty and Makeup.  Here's to beautiful Venusity!

Water Is The Essence of Beauty

Water is the basic element of our existence.  Approximately 70 percent of the planet is water.  Ironically, around 70 percent of our total body weight consists of water.  How can we expect to be healthy and beautiful if we don't drink enough water?

The bottom line is we all need to drink six to eight glasses of water daily.  Water flushes the toxins out of your system naturally to help you maintain a better weight.  Drinking water actually helps prevent water retention.  Your hair, skin and body organs are properly hydrated to do their best job when you drink enough water.

The Mayo Clinic discusses the importance of water and how much we should be drinking daily.  The ultimate recipe for inner beauty that shines through your skin is drinking plenty of water everyday!

Welcome To Venusity!

Can anyone else truly fill your shoes?  Have you discovered the Venus within?  Wecome to Venusity, a place to celebrate and enhance your own unique beauty.

The media has defined beauty for decades.  Modern women are empowered to define beauty their own way. A truly beautiful women shines from the inside out.  A wise woman knows how to enhance and direct that shine to uplift herself and those around her.

We will explore ways to beautify ourselves inside and out.  Welcome to Venusity, where we focus on bringing our inner beauty out.